Lesson #6: Say Goodbye to the Old — to Make Space for the New
This is a photo of the front of our house, where until this past weekend, a large evergreen stood. We planted that tree shortly after we moved in and enjoyed it for many years. Over time though, the tree grew too big for that spot and needed to be cut down.
Making the decision to remove the tree proved harder than we anticipated. Silly as it sounds, after nineteen years of seeing the tree each time we entered and exited the house, the idea of chopping it down was, well, unsettling. It might have been just a tree, but it was our tree – we had planted it – and it was a part of our home. That tree grew up in-step with our kids. So instead of taking action, we did nothing and pretended all was well.
Alas, once the tree started to turn brown, we were left with no choice but to remove it. Predictably we all felt sad the day the tree got chopped down. But you know what? As soon as it was gone, we couldn’t help but notice that the garden looked brighter, lighter and healthier than it had in years.
We laughed as we both said out loud, “Why did we wait so long to get rid of that tree?”
Whether at home or on the job, letting go of the old is never easy. I watch my clients struggle with this all the time. They are unhappy with their careers and know it is a time to make a change, but they prefer to cling to the devil-they-know instead of embracing the uncertainties of the unknown. They plod along, bored and disengaged, until they are forced by outside factors to make a change.
Yet once they are “forced” to change, and a new beginning fills the void, the end result is almost always positive.
As William Bridges writes in his landmark book, Transitions:
“Throughout nature, growth involves periodic accelerations and transformations: Things go slowly for a time and nothing seems to change – until suddenly the eggshell cracks, the branch blossoms, the tadpole’s tail shrinks away, the leaf falls, the bird molts, the hibernation begins. With us it is the same. Although the signs are less clear than in the world of feather and leaf, the functions of transition times are the same. They are key times in the natural process of self-renewal.”
The next time you are fighting against change, remember that transitions are a natural and neccessary part of the career process. Trust that with time, the pain of releasing the old will be replaced with new experiences and welcome opportunities for discovery, fulfillment and growth.
Enjoy this? Here is the rest of the series:
Lesson #1: Getting Started is the Hardest Part
Lesson #2: Plant Yourself in the Right Soil
Lesson #3: If You’re a Sun Loving Plant, Find a Sun Loving Garden
Lesson #4: Don’t Wait to Reach for the Watering Can
Lesson #5: The Grass Always Looks Greener on the Other Side
Lesson #6: Say Goodbye to the Old – to Make Space for the New
Lesson #7: Take Time to Smell the Roses
Lesson #8: To Be the Best, Learn From the Best
Lesson #9: Expect the Unexpected
Lesson #10: To Everything There is a Season